I made the brave decision years ago, to be willing to share my real life experiences so others could know, they're not alone, there are answers and there is still hope.
One Sunday, after the birth of my third child, a friend...actually, a stranger at the time, approached me and asked how I was doing. Church had just ended and I was fighting back tears. The last thing I wanted was for someone to ask me how I was doing. I just wanted to get home. I responded, indirectly, avoiding (as well as I could) the subject of emotions. We made light talk and he then asked...how are you really doing? I told him how I was finally coming to church after having my baby, still avoiding answering his question. His response: Wow, so soon. That's so incredible of you. I was suprised...I had never understood before this time that it was acceptable for a new mom to stay home for a month or even more if necessary as they are healing and adjusting to life with a new baby. He then, lovingly, asked a third time, only this time with a little change of wording, How are you feeling? At that, I burst into tears. I didn't need to say much at all after that. He simply inquired, postpartum depression? I nodded my head...and then...something amazing happened. His wife appeared...and she began sharing intimate details of her experience with severe postpartum depression after the birth of her child. She let me know I was not alone and that I wasn't doing anything wrong...that postpartum depression is REAL and it's not something to be ashamed of.
I will forever be grateful for this experience. It shaped my future from that very moment. I learned two very important things. I learned firsthand the power and influence that comes when someone is willing to share the truth about their own story-the good and the ugly. I immediately realized, I am not alone...we as beings are not alone. There are people out there who are struggling, just like me. Second, I learned just how impactful our lives can be for others if we are just willing to share our real story, rather than hiding between dreamy lies.
Her willingness to open up to me CHANGED my life. Her husband's willingness to reach out to me also changed my life. I vowed to God and myself from that very moment...that I would never hide those real, vulnerable parts of me, the fact that I've experienced some very real depression and anxiety. I vowed that I would share it with anyone and everyone who might benefit and find hope. I would be willing to be vulnerable so that if ANYONE ever felt isolated, estranged from humanity, alone in their experience...they could know, through sharing MY story, that they are not alone. I promised I would let people know forever that their mental, psychological or emotional health is no indicator of who they are and is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I promised to be a standing and open witness to those around me that there is Hope.
Now, perhaps my experience was unique. However, that doesn't mean you or I are any less capable of reaching out to people and blessing their lives through compassion, willingness to listen and ability to love. In fact, this couple demonstrated to me a living example of what I believe each and every one of us should and very well could be doing.
Why is there such a monstrous stigma associated with mental health? The answer is clear...because we DON'T talk about it. We are ashamed to talk about REAL life stuff. We are ashamed to let people know about our real struggles and trials. We are...ashamed of who we are. We are worried about being judged, ostricized or unloved. But the reality is, we will NEVER connect, find love or acceptance until we ALL become willing to let down the devious facade.
What would happen, if we were all open about our experiences? Our trials, our set backs? What would that mean for the world around us? Would it look any different? How? Just think about that for a moment.
It's not always easy to share our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. It can be a very humbling thing. It can be daunting. Terrifying at times. And yet, I believe, it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
We are not meant to be a separate people. We are meant to be connected. We were made to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. We are a community created people. We need each other. We need YOU. We need your voice, your story, your truth. Your compassion. Your love.
Where now we are sucked into the cacophony of fanciful living, shame and blame, let us break those chains that separate and deceive and let us instead embrace the path of love, compassion, understanding and selfnessness.
This is my prayer.
Signed,
Me.
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