The Answer Within

Today is a Saturday. The day, in our family, to Get things DONE! The day to purge, the day to clean, the day to create newness in our home. The day we prepare for the Sabbath Day. Saturday, is a day of energy, of drive, of passion and of commitment. It's also Springtime now...which adds to the purging, cleaning and creating.

Ah...the season of Spring. Don't you just love it? Birds chirping, Sun shining and flowers blooming. For me it also means dirt-covered hands and toes, catching snakes and worms and potato bugs, feeding the pet bunny, and getting a new pet of our own. Our first pet, fish. Now, this spring, when we can't hike to a mountain or visit the fish in a lake...we can go downstairs and bask in this small, serene life that fish are... So perfectly crafted By the Hand of Our creator...to give us an easy way for reprieve. Yes. This is spring.

Today, though.  Today is different.  Today...Spring is rain....cold house...sweaters....tired eyes...weak feet...And yet...we're still trying to make it an energy-filled, driven Saturday.  My husband left to show some homes...with a promise that when he returned from work, and we finished ours, he'd take the kids to do something totally fun...like swimming at the pool or the lake. ...And yet, still,...today is Cold...and Rain.

With piles of clothes and toys and shoes and other things no longer needed in our garage....and warm days, I made a perfect plan to hold a Yard Sale.  Well...once again...today is...Rain. In spring it shines but in spring it also rains. Not a problem. We can do with rain. Now to plan B. After Dad left, we sprung upstairs...ready to conquer our much needed task: The Playroom. 
Only a week ago...I cleaned until this room was pristine.  It's laughable to see this conquered task now pricelessly covered with all the evidence of carefree, youthful play. Warms my heart to know that I can provide a space for my kids that facilitates their dreams in the simplest of ways.

I've cleaned this room before.  It seemed so simple...but when I looked around at the floor-covered mess...I wasn't sure how to tackle this at best.  I knew it was my job as the adult to lead...but I found myself saying to my 7 year old son "I don't even know where to begin." At that, he replied "I do, I just don't WANT to clean." I sat and slumped....and thought...and dreamed of the perfect solution to keeping this playroom from ever again getting messy.  I slowly started tossing toys in different bins...making piles...pausing in between...to think some more.
This went on for quite a while. We turned on some Up-beat music to kick us into the mood. Jade began methodically cleaning.  I still sat, slothfully making piles around the room and slowly putting things in their buckets. Ana, our 3 year old, would put a few blocks away then pull them out again and build something new.  Abby was content, picking up things only to create some knew imaginary scene, in which she'd quietly play.

I thought of mine and my husbands dream to have shelves in the playroom closet...with perfectly sized bins to fit each of the different toys...and a nice lock to keep them in the closet so the kids could only come and check things out, one or two at a time. Yes. They'd Check-out. Just like a library. We'd have a paper to mark off each item "rented"...and when they were done they could put their toy back in a bin...and ask mom or dad for permission to check out a new item.  It sounded so heavenly....and I found myself struggling to want to clean without those shelves and those perfectly sized bins.

But alas...this was what we had now...a couple cardboard boxes...a nice big closet,...a small white shelf to fit a few of the small toys and a hanging stuffed animal net.  Well...today is today,  I thought. So I can be happy cleaning with what we have...but I found myself struggling to shake out of the dream...and get to work. Finally, my tiredness (because it's that monthly season for me) really kicked in.  We had made some progress.  The floor was only half covered by now. We had braided some doll's hair (a first for abby)...Jaden and ana played with some Mr. potato head toys (that somehow managed to creep back into the house from the D.I. pile in our garage). I reasoned that the kids enjoyed this toy and decided we would keep it.

While the kids (now playing instead of cleaning) did their thing, I did mine.  I sat there...thinking...What toys should we keep? When is it too much? What is enough? How to decide when they love all these things so much and play with ALL of them? I thought of other mom's, other cleaning advice I'd learned from de-cluttering books and blogs. I daydreamed about visiting other mom's homes and being inspired by the ways they managed their space. What do I even want? What do I need? Then...in a quiet whisper...the thought came...Kiley...the answer isn't outside of you...the answer is WITHIN.  
At that...it was as if...as if...I saw myself slowly falling down a tunnel (like the scene from alice in wonderland)  until at last...I reached the deepest part of me.  The part within. AHH...I thought...the answer...within...

Power surfaced...as the thought then grew...What if every answer we ever sought, every problem to be solved, was simply found deep within ourselves? Because...I believe that is true. I thought. From organizing my kids room, to taking care of my tired physical self, I don't need to look to outside sources...because there's always a far better answer...personalized...deep inside of Me!

So, dear friends, my thought for today: Next time you have questions, yearnings, troubles or just a task to get done...Instead of searching the web or calling a friend,...first, Stop.  Be still.  For a moment. Listen to the voice deep inside of you.  Listen...and trust...and know...that your answer to yourself is enough.  In fact, perhaps, your answer is exactly what you need.  Maybe you'll find after searching within...that a website, a book or reaching out to a professional or friend is just what you need...but at least, when you begin your quest from the inside out instead of the outside in, you'll save hours of time and heart ache, hours of wasted moments trying to figure out what it is you need...when the answer, from the start, has always been within. 

From,

Me.  ;)